Who ever the asshole was that told me before I left that Guinness doesn't give hangovers is a liar and should be beaten in the streets. After posting last night, Matt and I went back to the hotel, sprayed as much cologne as we could on our cloths (they're 3 days old now and are quite capable of ordering their own drinks. The locals smile and wave at them as they pass by) and headed out for dinner. We ate at a place our boy Rick Steve's suggested. I'll say this again, the Irish can cook! I had lamb shank that literally fell off the bone when I picked it up. In a word – fan-damn-tastic.
While my man, Matt settled the bill I chatted up the waitress (5'9", blonde short hair, thin but not waifish, choice) and asked her where we were going next. After she got the innuendo she laughed, I laughed and Matt laughed, though he really didn't know what he was laugh at until later. Anyway, she pointed us across the street to a pub that has nightly music that she said was "brilliant". Matt and I walked in, ordered a pint of the black stuff and started looking around. All around cool place but here's the best part. You know how bars in the states have only a select few places to see the entire crowd and still have your back to a wall? Fellas, you feel me right? It's not some Wyatt Earp cowboy shit, it's just nice to have your back to a wall. I'm sure I'm not the only one out there feeling this. Anyway, this place had little nooks cut out all over the place; hard to describe but made for a great layout with lots of place to people watch and have your back to a wall at the same time.
So I'm done with the 1st pint and thinking this is going a little slow so I decide to let the banshee out of the cage and order a whisky. Now pay attention because this is important later. Those of you that know me, again, you know what kind of party can ensue when the whisky hits the glass and tonight was no exception.
A fella at the bar turns to me and asks if we're Americans. Turns out he's on leave from Germany after a year stint in Afghanistan. Nice kid and there for the same reason Matt and I were – to chew bubble gum and kick ass. We were all out of bubble gum that night.
So the band strikes up, and puts the mood right, the kids start dancing and Matt orders his second pint. About this time a team of foxes stroll through the bar and my boy Nick (army guy) is on it quicker than I could nudge Matt in the ribs. So Nick and I go to work. Turns out the chick are all on college break and from the states. That kinda pissed me off. I mean, I didn't come all the way to Ireland to hear some pain in the ass, Yankee from Long Island. That accent is hard to handle when I'm sober much less when I feel a wee bit pissed (Irish for drunk). So I ditch and start showing Matt this great game where you try to flip the coasters on the edge of the bar up and catch them with the same hand. Turns out everybody at the bar (that was Irish) loved the game and kept coming by and telling us their high score. Good times.
It also attracted the attention of two blonds (definitely not from Long Island) sitting next to us. I give 'em the ol' "wink wink" and slide on over. Turns out they're from Holland and on holiday. Yadda, yadda, yadda, they were great girls.
So about 11:30 I holler back at Nick who's been paying his dues with the pain in the ass Long Island girls the whole night. The bar closes at midnight so we had to make our call – pain in the ass long Island girls or interesting but decidedly older Holland women. Nick and I decided, mathematically, our changes were better with the pain in the ass Long Island girls. Plus, I knew that I still had the Texas accent I could whip out at any time and save the day. So we follow these girls out the door and head back to their place to finish off some more pints when their local "boy in charge" (i.e. cock blocker) started talking about how we couldn't come after they'd just invited us. Long story short, he was a real dick and owes Matt a pint or two for the ass beating he saved him.
So we spend the next hour, looking around for a place that stays open past midnight, only to find that a place like that doesn't exist. Great….should have gone with the older Dutch chicks…
Oh yeah, almost forgot – the whisky. Matt discovered "warm whisky". They serve it in a coffee mug and put lemon and cloves in it. The ladies really like it so it was perfect for Matt. I feel confident Paul and I can do some damage with this new found chink in Matt's armor.
We have to go get Paul from the train station in about five mins. Now, with a fully operational Mitchell Brothers front, it's on. Time to do some real damage!
Mark "Whisky-tooth" Mitchell
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