1st day in Ireland

Wow. So I've now discovered that it only takes 36 hrs sleep deprivation for me to start hallucinating...good to know, good to know. The trip over was no big deal made all our connecting flights and even got 2 rows of seats all to us from Boston to Shannon, Ireland! That's where our luck stopped.

We cleared customs, sans body cavity search (always a good thing) and went to get our luggage from the carousel. Except our luggage didn't come, and didn't come and didn't come. Finally, I went over to the help desk and said, "Alright, check it" in my best Ali G voice. They stared back blankly. Maybe he just isn't as big over here. That must be it, 'cause my impersonation is dead on! Anyway, turns out we flew United from DFW to Chicago and Chicago to Boston but flew American from Boston to Shannon. The bags never made it to Shannon. But wait, it gets better. There's only one flight a day from Boston to Shannon and the crew that delivers lost luggage takes 24 hrs to get it to you after they get it. Do the math and you're looking at Friday (best case) before Daddy gets some new drawers. Ever notice that the airlines always facing major layoffs and bankruptcy usually have shitty customer service and a healthy display of general ineptitude? I mean really, was everyone in this airline raise under power lines?!?!

The good news is, after learning that our bags were now with Peter Pan in Never-never-land, my reaction didn't cause an international incident and not a single policeman was called. Now, those of you who remember my last eruptions with incompetent airlines and resentful Bobbies should see this as progress.

This could be the result of 1-2 factors. 1 I am more mature and can step back from a situation, realize that the person I'm speaking to is not directly responsible for the mishap and work towards finding a common solution. Two, and the more likely possibility, is that I'm a flat sucker for Irish ladies. I'm telling you fellas, these aren't the shoe-faced hags you remember from England. These women take care of themselves, and more importantly, their teeth! Plus, they can cook!!!! Matt and I had some Sheppard’s Pie (that I barely choked down once in England), some mint pea soup and some ginger bread for lunch - fucking awesome. Oh, and they've got a little sass to them. Not too much (read: NYC women) but just enough to give you a wink and a smile. I'm serious, I'm gonna see if they'll let me bring one back with me. Oh, and they all have red hair, all of them.

We rented a car after we landed and Matt drove. Now, I have to say, many people could have done much worse. Those people would have to have advanced ocular degeneration and suffer regular seizures but like I said, they would have done worse. After a while, we worked out a system where I shifted, navigated and took turns throwing up out the window and passing out right before imminent impact with large trucks and Matt steered. That seemed to work pretty well.

I'm mainlining coffee and Guinness right now to stay somewhat coherent but feel my plan is starting to fail me. So before I have to go back tomorrow and delete half the things I wrote today, let me say goodbye for now.

Cheers

Mark "Mutton Chops" Mitchell