So Dubrovnik...neat place but we probably should have put it at the beginning of our trip. We slowed waaaaay down in Split so we knocked out the beach lounging there. In Hvar we had a ton of things to do - renting boats, renting scooters, etc. In Dubrovnik you pretty much have a half days worth of things to see and then just enjoy the town. But by the time we go there, we had done the whole slow down and watch thing so we kinda wondered what to do with ourselves for a while. Plus, you can’t get too relaxed when you know you're flying out in the afternoon.
The other strange thing is there are no souvenirs really to buy - nothing they’re really known for. Poland and Czech Republic had Vodka and Absinth, lace and wooden things. But here...shipbuilding and salt were their big exports...and last time I checked, salt was not in shortage in the old U.S. of A. That being said, we did what we could today and I think people will be happy. They better be anyway.
So, for the 170 people who read the blog, big thanks. Nice to have an audience. For the one person who made a comment (thanks Kev), thanks for remembering it’s nice to hear back.
Check back to the picture section soon for some "interesting" snap shots!
Again, you're used to seeing this kind of thing in Normandy or Alsace from the WWII happenings but it really startling when you remember that all this happened 15 years ago. These were modern guns, modern ships, modern planes that did this destruction and they did it with much better precision than in the past.
War is hell...
So the local story here is that bishops passed down the swaddling cloths that Mary wrapped Jesus in after Nativity goings on from generation to generation. They kept it a secret until a mouthy nun caught wind and told the whole town. I mean really, even vows of silence can’t keep women from gossiping! Anywho, the town wanted to start using the blanket to help postnatal women recover. They did so by cutting pieces of the blankly and then doing something with it...who knows what. Of course, the women were healed. Oh, and every time they cut off a piece, the blanket reverted to its full size - like a blankly cornucopia. All this went on with no hiccups until one day someone cut off a piece for a Bosnian queen but because she was Muslim it didn't work and the blankly never worked again for any woman. Such is the legend of the Jesus Nappy.
Absurd as all that sounds, it does speak to the strong underlying nasty feelings between the ethnic groups that have been around for a hell of a long time...
We met at a bar called Hemmingway's (every country has a place they claim he drank at - which isn't surprising since the man was a ragging alchy) but we read in Rick that drinks were cheaper and the view better at a bar up the street so the 3 of us wandered on down. We found what we thought was the bar (later found out it wasn't) that had an AMAZING view. Dubrovnik is a walled city much like Avon, Spain or York, England. They bored a hole in the seaside wall and put tables strategically located on the limestone outcroppings. You were perched like a barnacle right on the city wall perilously close to crashing sea below. Very cool. We drank and watch the sail boats come in reminding me that our family (once our fearless Capitan comes back from sabbatical) needs to do that again. Isn't someone in the family graduating soon!?!?
After a few drink we went to another restaurant recommended by Rick and had one of the best (and cheapest) dinners yet. Two American girls next to us (completely shit-faced) told us the house wine was good and we took their suggestion. It was definitely better than any of the other house wine we've had here but nothing to write home about. That's true about pretty much all the wine here. In fact, if I had to complain about one thing, it would be the lack of good, regional booze to be had - wine or otherwise.
Its overcast today and a decent breeze is keeping everything borderline chilly. We walked the city walls and did the city walking tour and now thinking about the best way to blow the rest of our time here, which is only about 24 hrs since we fly to London tomorrow around 4pm.
Oh, the food! The I have successfully converted Erin into a muscles lover (aside from my own) and I have really taken to the squid. They do it just right over here...it's really worth eating a lot of. I'll try the oysters tonight but they're not exactly reasonably prices at $2 apiece. Oh, and the shrimp we had last night damn near knocked me out of my chair. They were grilled, head and shell on so that to eat them, all you had to do was take off the head and eat them shell and all. AMAZING!
The gnocchi is also damn good. Never really been that impressed with it before but these people do it up right.
Croatians are freakin HUGE! No shit, they’re all like 6ft. Even the women - amazons I tell ya!
Better looking (the men too Erin tells me) than most other Eastern Europeans as well.
Generally nice but not grinning idiots either. Most of them (unlike the French) get that 30% of their GDP comes from tourism so they tend not to shit on us...at least when we are watching.
I still think its bullshit that they get a pass from the international community just because they have some nice beaches and islands. Its like someone said, "OK, I know, we did some horrible shit 10 years about but come on, look out the window! It’s beautiful! How can you stay mad at us?" and Kofi said, "You’re right, it is beautiful. Let’s never talk about the last decade again. Gelato anyone?"
Oh well, as they say (not here though) "se la vie"
For those of you that have been to the Italian Riviera, it’s kinda like that but even more like the Cinque Terre in Italy. Very dry, very steep landscape with deep blue water crashing on the rocks below. For those of you that haven’t been to those places, let me dispel any notion you may have of white sandy beaches - they’re all pebbles and rocks. Sand is a myth. If you want sand, go to Cozumel. We checked into our sobe (which is like renting a room in someone’s house but much nicer) and proceeded straight to the nearest rent-a-scooter. We picked out a nice powder blue, 50cc moped that I quickly nicknamed, Blue Thunder. We spend about five hrs easy riding around the island, stopping every now and then for a picture. The roads were very windy and windy and the drop offs had no guardrail. (think the Amalfi coast where princess grace was killed...yeah, kinda like that) I think Erin (who was riding behind me) only peed herself twice. The highlight of the excursion was the Chinese fire drill we pulled at a nudist camp toward the end of the island. Man that was fun. We came blaring through the front gates at top speed sounding the horn and whooping like wild people! Then we ran hell out of there before we went blind!
That night my allergies got wicked pissed and started whaling on me! We went to the local pharmacy and gave them our symptoms. For $10 we walked out with eye drops, nasal spray 10 days worth of prescription Zyrtec. Gota love America’s health system. Everything worked great (the nasal spray made me giggle a lot and everything taste like mushrooms) and I was back at em the next day. We decided to say "the hell with" the itinerary at this point and skip Korcula. We spent 2 nights in Hvar instead.
The following morning we rented a boat (5hp "dingy") and went and visited the islands off the Island of Hvar. Nudists abound! Great Scott! It was like a butcher shop! Damn Germans and their need for perverted exhibitionism! We had a blast and really enjoyed the autonomy the dingy...no pun intended.
Today we woke up at the crack of dawn and caught the first ferry off the island at 6:30am. We were back in Split by 7:30 and on a bus bound for Dubrovnik, getting here around 1pm. We found a place to stay and after dragging the luggage up 15 flights (more like five but it sure as hell felt like 15 flights) I was ready for some food...quickly. I read in Rick that there was a kick ass pizza place not far so we found it and tried to grab a seat but some little shit middle schoolers had the whole damn thing reserved. What the hell did they think this was, Planet Hollywood!??!?! The little bastards didn’t leave a single table. We had to eat across the way and I had to have the biggest beer they served just to get over it. The beer is now wearing off and I'm seriously considering spending the afternoon hunting each one of them down and putting my size 10 to good use.
We will spend the day getting oriented to the city and then I will write more.
Until then, be jealous!
OK, so while we are not up to Poland standards on shopping yet, we are making progress.
The 1st day we were here I bought a straw fedora. Erin bought a big floppy white hat and was told by the man selling it that "she needed it for her big, white head".
I'm putting the fedora with the white pants in Dubrovnik!
The oldest church ruins in all of Christendom they say. The Roman Emperor of the time Diocletian was know of really getting a kick out of torturing Christians and guess where he was from and subsequently retired? That’s right, Split. Aside from beating the shit out of Christians every chance he got, he was also know for dividing the Empire into 4 sections which, while making things easier to govern, eventually lead to its collapse. Anyway, upon retiring, he set up shop back in Split. His retirement gift - the local bishop's head. When the mean old bastard finally croaked, they partied like it was 9A.D. They converted his temple (Jupiter Jr was his monitor) into a church and buried that bishop in the alter. 15 centuries later, when the Slavs invaded (read last political rant if you need to see how this fits into today) everyone took shelter in the palace. The upper class took the Emperors old rooms and the commoners took the lower rooms below. The siege lasted long enough that the rich bastards upstairs got tired of walking out to the outhouse or taking the garbage out. So they just drilled holes in the floor. That’s right, the first documented occurrence of the upper class shitting on (literally) the lower class.
How far we have come!
We head to the island of Hvar (the "h" is silent) tomorrow morning.
The Croatians really like their food in tube form. You can get anything from pate, to mayonnaise to tomato paste all in what looks exactly like the Crest tube on your bathroom counter. I love pate but I don’t think I will be trying it in tube form any time soon
We had lunch yesterday in a place we thought was recommended by Rick but in further examination, was not. Didn’t matter - best damn food I’ve had here yet! we ordered :
- bottle of wine
- water
- anchovies
- French fries
- mushroom caps
- pizza
- tuna gnocchi
The waiter, who turned out to be really cool, took our order, reviewed it and said "in all my 35 years, I have never taken this order". in all fairness it was more food than we intended to order but I felt obligated to make it disappear just to spite the guy. we finally finished that meal at 4pm. Total cost: $20. I love Croatia.
Bon Apatite!
ok, on to the main event. When we landed in Gatwick, we had to clear customs and get our bags and clear immigration to go to Croatia. I had a mini bottle of Makers Mark that I swiped from first and had it in my backpack. Erin swore to me I’d never get it past security. my position was that if any culture would understand the need for find bourbon, it was the English. Plus, they were much too polite a people to insist.
I made it Erin went through screening first as I pushed our bags through the scanner. I pick my head up just in time to see her getting full on felt up by the female security agent. I don’t think she even set off the alarms but let me tell you - you could have sold tickets to this show. I swear it lasted like five mins. she walked away dazed and didn't respond when I asked her if she needed more ones.
Which brings me to my next bit, adult clubs that translate their names into English? The popular (I’m only judging by the number of fliers I see on windshields on cars) on here is “Go-Go Lady Dance" that advertises "strep dance" (I didn't misspell that) and "free drive call" and "very appetizing ladies". We laugh every time we pass a flier, which is quite often.
Finally, also on the subject of adult entertainment, we got home last night around midnight and I turned on the TV while Erin took a shower. Damnit if there was Croatian porn everywhere! seriously, I wasn't even looking for it but when I heard the shower crank off, I figured it was time to turn the channel. Much to my horror, the channel wouldn't change. I tried every button on that damn remote to no avail. When Erin came out I figured it was time for preemptive measures and before she saw the TV herself, started to explain the situation. She, seeing how embarrassed I was (not to mention innocent) laugh and asked for the remote to try it herself. no luck. for a while I was thinking we'd have to go to sleep with the TV broadcasting Slavic porn into our room all night. luckily, we found the power button on the TV and went to bed. Next morning, Erin gets in the shower; I turn on the TV for SKY News and guess what channel the TV is on. At that point, I unplugged the TV, feeling damn sure Erin could understand once, but not twice.
That all for now - Split is amazing. In a word - "sun drenched"
OK so I lied in my last blog, I'm not finished ranting about the wars ten years ago. I admit that I didn't fully understand all the players (Serbs, Croats and Slavs) when all this took place but I do remember trying to establish a bad guy. The media seemed to serve up Milosevic on a sliver platter and while I'm certainly not advocating his innocence, he was just the only one who survived long enough to have charges brought against him.
So for all of you who were either too young to remember, didn't get past WWII in history class or were just as confused as I was, here's a brief recap.
Back when Hitler conquered this part of the globe, before the Greatest Generation got their medals and before anyone gave two shits about Eastern Europe, you have five types of people (comprised of 3 religions - Catholics, Muslims and orthodox, and 2 ethnicities) inhabiting the land who had been conquered by nearly as many cultures as the Polish (though France still holds the record for sheer number of times beaten). When the Nazis established law here the Croats (Catholics, who as history tells us, were ALWAYS on the moral side of the issue) saw it as an opportunity for a little autonomy and supported the new rulers. When Hitler showed them his plans for changing the landscape, they were all for it. Anywhere from 25k to 300k were exterminated.
After the Allies saved everybody's ass, we started drawing up new countries. Grand decisions like Iraq, Israel and Yugoslavia were created.
The Iron curtain falls, Yugoslavia becomes a communist satellite and Titto came to power. I remember hear about what a controversial guy he was. Here was his great achievement - keeping five factions from killing each other. Wanna guess how he did it - ding, ding all the people who said despotism, come on down!
Seriously, the guy was a class-A douche bag. People disappearing and shit - really nasty stuff. People here have a short-term memory. Kinda like Russia does now. Everyone likes Putin because he keeps his foot on the neck of the separatist. They forget he's quickly eroding their civil liberties - take note Patriot Act supporters.
Regardless, after Titto dies shit goes crazy. The Serbs gain the upper hand in 1991, and figure it's payback time for the heinous shit the Nazis/Croats pulled and 6,000 people end up disappearing. Guess where they found them (hint: it wasn't Barbados). It was mass graves
Fighting continues. In 1995 the Croats set up "rape camps" (think Auschwitz but instead of crematoriums, there is a fresh platoon of pissed of soldiers...oh, and they only interned women...yep you are on the right track). Lucky for them, we had a president at the time that gave a damn about other things that didn't concern oil and sent ol' Wes Clark to drop some "war kisses" for about 2 months. Because the US was involved in a military expedition, it got press. Because it got press, people started hearing about all the nastiness. The residents took a cue from Germany in 1948 and said, "Wait, we didn't know they were doing that stuff" and quickly ousted Milosevic. He died in prison. The official cause was heart failure. We all know it was assassination.
So, after all that reading, you wanna know who the bad guys were, right? THEY ALL WERE! All of them did unimaginable, horrible, things to one another. It doesn't matter who did it first or who did it worst/best. Everyone over here deserved a BIG time out!
Instead, everyone pretty much goes about their business. There are now five countries where there was once one - all drawn on religious and ethic lines. Bosnia's having the hardest time apparently because of the heavy mix of the five.
Croatia is looking into being admitted into the EU be they're being told to piss off until they hand over the war criminals.
I like the fact that they can forgive and forget but I don't think we need 6 million dead before we start calling something what it is - systematic extermination of a race or people, i.e. holocaust. The fact that 90 percent of the people reading this (including yours truly up to 48 hrs ago) didn't put all of this together, or know all the details is pretty alarming. Do we need to lose troops to take notice? Does Brat Pitt have to go to Africa and hold a bloated baby before we even consider doing something in Dar Fur?
OK, enough - for now. I'm not promising anything. I'm sure I'll revisit this the more I think about it.
It's 3:45pm - we checked in for our standby tickets over 1/2 an hour ago. Our plane doesn't take off for another three hrs...baahhh.
The good news is it looks like we're in first class again. I won't go into why, when I fly first class, I'm superior to all other moral passengers again but if you need a refresher, read the past blog - "1st class, real class".
Seven hrs to Gatwick and three hrs to Split, Croatia. Mentally, I've already been there a week.
Had to leave Parker (the dog) with one of my bosses. Much harder for me than Parker. He'll be staying with two other dogs with plenty of energy so I'm not even sure he'll notice I'm gone.
How to kill three hrs in an airport...maybe I'll test-drive some cars at the airport dealerships...do you think they do duty free?
The most common response when I tell people I'm going to Croatia for a week is, "Why?" After I tell them how great of a place it's supposed to be I realize they're connecting Croatia to the war in the former Yugoslavia 10 years ago. At that point, it becomes a fair question. Why is a place where, from all accounts, horrible human atrocities occurred just over a decade ago attractive as a tourist destination of all places!?! What separates Croatia from...say...Lebanon or Kashmir? Did people just forget and forgive the war crimes and mass graves? Maybe it's just too pretty of a place to hold a grudge. Or maybe it's just too hot in Lebanon - heat has been known to make people angry. Regardless, it will be somewhat surreal to fly over Sarajevo. A reverse, perhaps, from what the UN peacekeepers felt as they marched into the Olympic Stadium that housed the Winter Games a decade before.
I'm thirsty and in need of a drink after those ramblings...it's a good thing booze is free in first!
