Where to start, where to start...? After I posted my last blog we went back to the hostel to get a few things for tonight and get ready. Matt took the opportunity to explain to the receptionist (male) that tomorrow we'd be playing a round at St. Andrews and we'd be sore that afternoon and did the man know of (using exact language here) "a good massage parlor [he] and [his] brothers could relax". The man looked very nervous and waited for Matt to say something that would make the situation less awkward. Matt, not realizing the international beard for brothel was "massage parlor" (naive or stupid, you tell me), just blinked and the guy waited for the reply. The bloke finally stumbled out something to the like of never having been to one himself but his friends had. The phone then rang and he was all to relieved to be able to answer it.
We broke Matt's balls for the next two hrs over dinner where we had great house beer (where they really pull it from the kegs, not the pressurized crap we use...I guess technically it's all pressurized but you know what I mean) and haggis - delicious. I'm not just saying that because I was three sheets to the wind, I really love the stuff. For those of you curious, haggis is barley, and goat organs (they're never more specific than that) in goat intestine. I bet your mouth is already watering.
We knew we had to be up early the next morning for golf so we decided to head to Finnegan's early and finish early. Well, we got half that right. Apparently ALL of the single women were getting married the next day which meant everyone was out on a hen party (bachelorette party). As soon as we're in the bar one of the brides-to-be comes up holding a card that she explains requires her "to squeeze hunks arse". We couldn't have scripted it any better if we had rehearsed. O course, all the bridesmaids are watching so we have an audience, and how do you expect us to walk away from that. In unison, we look at on another, shrug, take a drink of our beers, turn around put our hands on the bar and say, "if you're gonna grab one darlin' you'd better go ahead and get your money's worth". We each get a honk, take the picture and go about our business. The band kicked ass again and we stuck around until around 11pm or so until it was too crowded.
We walked down the street a wee bit to a place matt and I spied when we were out for pizza. We pop in for a pint but the place was unhinged. We were sucked in to the dance floor and it was at that moment, Matt nearly cause an international incident by dancing to Shakira. Holy shit that was funny! I would have given my left arm for a video camera. We were having such a good time we were all surprise when Paul announce that it was 12:30 and we needed to have his ass in bed soon or he was gonna be shite on the course. I think it was just a good excuse for him to suck today but we followed him out and announce it to be a raging success.
No comments:
Post a Comment