Ohh people. I just discovered the joys of flying first class, trans-Atlantic. Erin hooked us up with the tickets as she works for AA and can make that kind of thing happen. We rode business class to Chicago and first class from Chicago to London. Unfortunately, we had to slum it on coach from London to Prague but that was only a 2hr flight so no big deal. So now that I'm a first class veteran, let me comment on a few things. First of all, the assumption that first class passengers feel, somehow, superior to those in coach or even business is absolutely true. We are. It's time for the rest of you to deal with it. You're gut told you as much every time they pulled that Victorian lace curtain (ok, maybe it's not Victorian lace but it might as well be) across the chasm that divides our 2 worlds. And two worlds they are.
But first, we have to take a moment for the things lost before boarding. We very diligently read that you could take gels and pastes if you put them in a "see-through" plastic bag. We did just that and right before the security line, we very proudly showed a rather slack-jawed security man. He shook his head and said that it had to be a quart size zip lock and we had gallon. Even though they were barely 1/4 full, we were told we had to throw it away. Erin lost an untold amount of make-up and other girly things but the real tragedy here was that I lost my "de-fi" hair product. Faux-hawks don’t style themselves people and now the citizens of Prague will have to live the rest of their lives, knowing that they were witness to a sub par Mitchell Faux-hawk...the horror...
Now, on to the plane ride, a la first class. First of all we board first. Now, you may not appreciate that or fully grasp why that is, I certainly didn't. We board 1st, so that we can have our class of fine Champaign (not that sparkling wine shite they try to pass off else where, I mean the real stuff) before wheels up. If you're a fast drinker, like me, you can even get the second glass down and well on a way to a healthy little buzz before they come and take your crystal class away. My personal air steward was Chaz and aside from over emphasizing his "S's" and leering as I slept, he was a pretty good guy (though I did have to decline his offer for a back rub, but I'm sure he was just being helpful)
Once you're wheels up, they come around and give you your own, personal Bose QC2 headset with the noise canceling technology (retail $300). Then they give you the menu. I chose to start with the cheese course, then moved to the prawns. They were nice but asked if I could have some of the smoked salmon as well and they of course said, "of course".
Then they brought the smoked duck, Cesar salad. Phenomenal. I tried to order the leg of lamb next but since I was in the back, had to settle with truffle tortellini. I chewed each bite glowing with the satisfaction that I did so while the plebs behind me were gnawing on re-constituted chicken. Losers.
After the entrée, I had big bowl of Byers vanilla bean ice cream and Kaluha.
Oh, let's not forget the most important course, the booze course. As I said before, I had the two glasses of fine Champaign before take off but it didn't stop there. I had, in chrono order, sherry, pino griso, pino griso, burgundy, burgundy, brandy, Kahlua. I don't remember going to sleep but I'm sure it happened cause I woke up with a nasty headache. Good thing they've got bloody marrys at breakfast. Oh, and sleeping is a breeze as my chair fully reclined into a bed that was bigger than my dorm room at A&M.
Oh yeah, breakfast. I had a cream cheese and chive omelet. Now, I'm not sure how it's somehow unsafe to have toothpaste on an airplane and it is safe to flip an egg at 30,000ft but I'm glad it is. 10 mins to wheels down, more fine Champaign.
A short time at Heathrow and we're on plane to Prague. Beautiful day. Sunny and 75. Our hotel is amazing. Courtyard, balconies, great restaurant and helpful staff. We had to share a bathroom with about three other rooms but I never saw any of the occupants.
We explored the town and had dinner around 3pm. Goulash is awesome! You've never had beer until you've been to Czech Republic. We were both dead on our feet, not having slept in about 30 hrs but we powered through until about 7pm by people watching in the down square and slowing getting stoned on lack of sleep, coffee and beer. We gave up around seven and headed back to the hotel determined to watch TV and stay awake until at least 8pm. On the way home, we thought it was a brilliant idea to try Absinth for the first time. We bought two mini bottles of two different varieties (one for women and one for the Irish the guy told us), an Absinth spoon, sugar cubes and a lighter. We got home, and I played bartender. We threw them back and both passed out within two mins. We'll try again today.
Speaking of today - rainy and cold, just how I pictured Prague. We're trying to avoid the blue hairs and their massive tour groups but they're nice and seem to like seeing a young couple in Prague.
More soon people and remember, if you're not in first class, you're really a third class citizen.
No comments:
Post a Comment