Had a really cool night last night. After dinner at a really good pizza place Erin and I wanted to go have a drink and stumbled into a bar that was about two stories below ground. VERY COOL. I think it was an old wine cellar but it had all the old stonework and kinda looked like a crypt. Once again, the cheep bastard in me was loving the prices so 2 drinks turned into 4 and 4 drinks turned into 8 and before I knew it we had made friends with Pollock couple. (By the way, turns out Pollock is the correct way to say it. I confirmed it this time with an actual Pollock. Incidentally, a female of Polish heritage is called a Polka. I kid you not.) We learned all sorts of things about past communist pains and Poland's optimistic capitalist future. I also learned how to say jackass in Polish. It's jackass. Turns out some things don't need translating.
So we danced to the "UNSE UNSE UNSE" of the techno beat until the wee hours of the night. We walked across the square back to the hotel we heard the buglers play their hourly song (kinda like Taps) and was reminded of the story behind that I forgot to mention. So there's this big town smack dab in the middle of the square that's, I don't know, 1,500 years old. The story goes that the watchman saw the invaders coming and started bugling his alarm. About half way through the alarm he was shot in the throat with an arrow. Pretty grizzly I know, but to this day, they play the song on the hour every hour and stop it mid way through. I don't know, I kinda thought it was cool.
This morning we got up at a decent hour, switched hotels as the other one was all booked up for tonight and headed down to the Wawel Castle. There has been some sort of structure there since the beginning of recorded history! Also, (another religion tidbit) Hindus believe that there are 7 places on earth that have kick ass chakra – Jerusalem, Delhi, Delphi, Mecca, Rome, etc, etc and Wawel Castle. So you're supposed to go hug on this wall to achieve maximum chakra potential but it totally wigs the Krakowians out. If you ask a tour guide about it they start to squirm cause they're not even allowed to talk about it. So after rubbing on a wall like a bunch of cats in heat, we headed down to the garden to have a Pepsi Lite and sit in the sun. I got a back rub and a big thumbs up from some really old Pollock that could see I was in heaven. Seriously, he passed us with this group, turned around and with a big grin, gave me two big thumbs up. I agreed.
We spent the afternoon strolling through the Jewish quarter but were really unimpressed. Its not like walking into China Town or Little Italy in New York. There aren't menorahs on the street signs or dradles in the street. I don't know what I was expecting but it was just kind of a run down part of town without a whole lot going on. So we booked it back to town and discovered that a festival in the square was in full swing. We are heading back down there now for carnival food before taking it easy tonight as we are flying to London tomorrow on our way home.
Friday, October 6, 2006
Thursday, October 5, 2006
Oopps, I did it again...
So instead of visiting the haunting and extremely important Auschwitz we decided to get smashed last night and sleep in until 11am. That's twice now and I gota say, it doesn't suck. This time we didn't have the green fairy around to blame it on, just good ol' fashioned beer. A really cool outside bar that poured good beer and cider. They're less big on Absinthe here than in Czech Rep and much more hyped about their vodka. I guess some parts of the old Commy regime are still in place.
Speaking of parts of Communism that doesn't suck, Milk Bars. No, not like the post 1970's, A Clock Work Orange milk bars. These are basically cafeterias with government subsidized food prices. We ate in one this afternoon and had Hunters Delight (kinda like the sausage and sauerkraut Mom makes but with BBQ sauce and no potatoes...and delicious, or in this case, delightful), potato pancakes, coleslaw, tomato soup, and a water for about 9 bucks, TOTAL. Soup is less than 1 dollar. Paul, you would love this place. In hindsight, it's also a great way to find out what you like and don't like because if you order something and spit it out, you've only wasted about 35 cents.
We spend the day seeing the other important sights of Krakow and wondering the streets. Very cook place, Krakow. Pope John Paul II was archbishop here before he got the nod to come on down.
Now (CYNIC ALERT, be prepared to be offended or at least roll your eyes), as most of you that know me know that I don't have a whole lot of use for church and that I pretty much give the finger to any type of organized religion. That being said, I gota admit, the churches and places we visited today were absolutely moving. All of them were ancient, of course, and most of them have some pretty solid historical relevance, other than just being a church like so many Italian sites.
We visited the church that John Paul the II cut his teeth in. They have a plaque on the pew that he likes to sit and even an exact replica of the Shroud of Turin. The replica also touched the real Shroud so it's considered a holy relic too. Again, most of the Catholic tradition is a lot of noise to me, but the hocus-pocus stuff is really cool. For those of you that slept through/skipped Sunday school, the Shroud of Turin (and I very well may be misspelling it) was supposedly the cloth that wrapped Jesus Christ (not Jesus Jones) after they pulled him down from the cross and laid him in the tomb. When the cloth was removed, a perfect image of Jesus was left on the cloth. So, if you believe all that (and there are plenty of independent, read: not Vatican sponsored, studies that verify the age of the cloth and that the image is not made of paint or dye) you're basically looking at the only legitimate and accurate image of Jesus. Pretty cool. The real Shroud is only taken out and shown rarely so this was a very cool surprise. Seriously, read up on the Shroud.
They have a pretty nice accounting of the pope's death too. Apparently, a bunch of Polski's (turns out Pollock IS an offensive term) waited outside his window when he came to Poland for the last time in 2002. The pope had gone to bed but the people, fearing it would be the last time they'd see him, chanted outside his window until the old fellow got out of bed and waved. I think it's pretty ballsy to taunt the guy who's got a direct line to the man upstairs but what do I know. I know I'm pretty grumpy when I'm trying to get some shut eye and some pesky Polski's (couldn't resist) are chanting my name on the street. When the pope finally did die back in '05, they all meet (10,000 of them) again below his old window and fell in unison to their knees when it was announce he was indeed dead. Again, not for nothin', that's pretty moving.
We went to another church that, hands down, was one of the coolest and most colorful churches I've been in. Take that France and Italy!
Tomorrow we're gonna finish the walk we started today and head to the Jewish Quarter. Upon further review we decided to skip the concentration camp and enjoy our lasts days here without the depressing fog of the Holocaust.
Poland is awesome. Next up, my review of the people, atmosphere and city.
Speaking of parts of Communism that doesn't suck, Milk Bars. No, not like the post 1970's, A Clock Work Orange milk bars. These are basically cafeterias with government subsidized food prices. We ate in one this afternoon and had Hunters Delight (kinda like the sausage and sauerkraut Mom makes but with BBQ sauce and no potatoes...and delicious, or in this case, delightful), potato pancakes, coleslaw, tomato soup, and a water for about 9 bucks, TOTAL. Soup is less than 1 dollar. Paul, you would love this place. In hindsight, it's also a great way to find out what you like and don't like because if you order something and spit it out, you've only wasted about 35 cents.
We spend the day seeing the other important sights of Krakow and wondering the streets. Very cook place, Krakow. Pope John Paul II was archbishop here before he got the nod to come on down.
Now (CYNIC ALERT, be prepared to be offended or at least roll your eyes), as most of you that know me know that I don't have a whole lot of use for church and that I pretty much give the finger to any type of organized religion. That being said, I gota admit, the churches and places we visited today were absolutely moving. All of them were ancient, of course, and most of them have some pretty solid historical relevance, other than just being a church like so many Italian sites.
We visited the church that John Paul the II cut his teeth in. They have a plaque on the pew that he likes to sit and even an exact replica of the Shroud of Turin. The replica also touched the real Shroud so it's considered a holy relic too. Again, most of the Catholic tradition is a lot of noise to me, but the hocus-pocus stuff is really cool. For those of you that slept through/skipped Sunday school, the Shroud of Turin (and I very well may be misspelling it) was supposedly the cloth that wrapped Jesus Christ (not Jesus Jones) after they pulled him down from the cross and laid him in the tomb. When the cloth was removed, a perfect image of Jesus was left on the cloth. So, if you believe all that (and there are plenty of independent, read: not Vatican sponsored, studies that verify the age of the cloth and that the image is not made of paint or dye) you're basically looking at the only legitimate and accurate image of Jesus. Pretty cool. The real Shroud is only taken out and shown rarely so this was a very cool surprise. Seriously, read up on the Shroud.
They have a pretty nice accounting of the pope's death too. Apparently, a bunch of Polski's (turns out Pollock IS an offensive term) waited outside his window when he came to Poland for the last time in 2002. The pope had gone to bed but the people, fearing it would be the last time they'd see him, chanted outside his window until the old fellow got out of bed and waved. I think it's pretty ballsy to taunt the guy who's got a direct line to the man upstairs but what do I know. I know I'm pretty grumpy when I'm trying to get some shut eye and some pesky Polski's (couldn't resist) are chanting my name on the street. When the pope finally did die back in '05, they all meet (10,000 of them) again below his old window and fell in unison to their knees when it was announce he was indeed dead. Again, not for nothin', that's pretty moving.
We went to another church that, hands down, was one of the coolest and most colorful churches I've been in. Take that France and Italy!
Tomorrow we're gonna finish the walk we started today and head to the Jewish Quarter. Upon further review we decided to skip the concentration camp and enjoy our lasts days here without the depressing fog of the Holocaust.
Poland is awesome. Next up, my review of the people, atmosphere and city.
Wednesday, October 4, 2006
Adios Prague, Hello Krakow
Our last day in Prague was pretty uneventful. We went to the Charles Bridge and the Prague castle/church and both were very nice. Turns out back in 1648, the favorite way of dispatching of a shitty political leader was to throw him out of his office window. Two governors got tossed that year. Those are my kind of people.
At the Charles Bridge we touched the lucky plaque depicting a saint being tossed over the bridge to his death. Turns out there was a lot of tossing people out of and from things in Prague. If you touch his engraving it's said to grant you one wish. If you touch the dog to his left it's said to bring bad luck. You wouldn't believe how many people were touching the dog while waiting to touch the saint...suckers.
Oh, and we tested my now increasingly substantiated theory that Chinese food is good ANYWHERE on the globe, except Alpine, TX. It was delicious but we were hungry again in two hrs. Hey, you take the good with the bad. Finally we headed over to the train station to catch our night train to Poland. No problem catching the train but some dumbass (read: Pollock conductor...still not sure if "Pollock" is a derogatory term...) turned the heat up so around midnight we had our own velvet revolution (10 points to whom ever gets that reference). That helped a little but we were awoken again by what sounded like the Gestapo at our door. I know, probably not the time or place for such a reference but I couldn't resist. After we proved we were legal, it was back to sleep for three hrs before we got to Krakow.
The place we're staying at was open as luck would have it and let us come in, put our bags down and get a cup of coffee. Then they told us to get the hell out for the next six hrs. We lasted about 4hrs, including breakfast at a Hooters meets IHOP establishment, before we were back begging to be let in. They took pity and after a shower, nap and lunch we were back at the shopping. I got some wicked cool belts and sunglasses that are, in a word (say it with me people), fan-damn-tastic.
I'll write more about the people and weather towards the end but so far their much more out going. We're going to Auschwitz tomorrow and after having been to Dachau (sp?) I'm not exactly looking forward to another concentration camp, much less the most notorious death camp in modern history. However, Erin has never been and to have come all this way and not would be a shame. So I'll suck it up and we'll have a shitty, great day watching just how disgusting man can be.
Expect a rather seething Blog tomorrow...but the Blue Hairs are everywhere and the Japanese travel in packs armed with their Minoltas and Kodaks. I'm looking forward to being in a less discovered Eastern European city.
More soon.
At the Charles Bridge we touched the lucky plaque depicting a saint being tossed over the bridge to his death. Turns out there was a lot of tossing people out of and from things in Prague. If you touch his engraving it's said to grant you one wish. If you touch the dog to his left it's said to bring bad luck. You wouldn't believe how many people were touching the dog while waiting to touch the saint...suckers.
Oh, and we tested my now increasingly substantiated theory that Chinese food is good ANYWHERE on the globe, except Alpine, TX. It was delicious but we were hungry again in two hrs. Hey, you take the good with the bad. Finally we headed over to the train station to catch our night train to Poland. No problem catching the train but some dumbass (read: Pollock conductor...still not sure if "Pollock" is a derogatory term...) turned the heat up so around midnight we had our own velvet revolution (10 points to whom ever gets that reference). That helped a little but we were awoken again by what sounded like the Gestapo at our door. I know, probably not the time or place for such a reference but I couldn't resist. After we proved we were legal, it was back to sleep for three hrs before we got to Krakow.
The place we're staying at was open as luck would have it and let us come in, put our bags down and get a cup of coffee. Then they told us to get the hell out for the next six hrs. We lasted about 4hrs, including breakfast at a Hooters meets IHOP establishment, before we were back begging to be let in. They took pity and after a shower, nap and lunch we were back at the shopping. I got some wicked cool belts and sunglasses that are, in a word (say it with me people), fan-damn-tastic.
I'll write more about the people and weather towards the end but so far their much more out going. We're going to Auschwitz tomorrow and after having been to Dachau (sp?) I'm not exactly looking forward to another concentration camp, much less the most notorious death camp in modern history. However, Erin has never been and to have come all this way and not would be a shame. So I'll suck it up and we'll have a shitty, great day watching just how disgusting man can be.
Expect a rather seething Blog tomorrow...but the Blue Hairs are everywhere and the Japanese travel in packs armed with their Minoltas and Kodaks. I'm looking forward to being in a less discovered Eastern European city.
More soon.
Tuesday, October 3, 2006
Eurotrash assimilation complete
Yep, it didn't take long. I think I'm blending in with the landscape but I'll get to that in a minute.
First of all Prague. Very cool city but as ass-backwards as Venice when it comes to streets and markings. Those that have been, I'm sure understand what I'm talking about. It's a mess. None of the streets last for more than about 100 meters and I think the locals think it's funny to translate random streets on some maps and not on others. I could really use a compass here. No joke, all the buildings are tall and narrow making finding any sort of navigation point (short of the North Star) damn near impossible.
Second, the people. I wouldn't call them overly friendly but their certainly not mean. Kinda like the Germans but better looking. It's kinda like TCU or SMU here, lots of very attractive woman with some shoe faced dumbass. They have no idea how out of their league they would be anywhere else. Oh, and another thing. It's kinda like Logan's Run over here. The woman and tall, blonde or brunette with blue else and legs that go all the way to the top floor. Very stunning...until they get to be about 35. Then I think somebody goes around and dunks their faces in acid. It's really weird. You don't see too many going through the uglifying process, just those before and after. Very strange.
Third, the weather/ambiance. This is spy city, no doubt about it. Rainy and cold. Narrow, dark streets with cubbyholes perfect for one person to slip completely out of sight with a 9mm silenced H&K. Oh, and all the churches play this really haunting music like the stuff from La Boehme. Perfect soundtrack for an assassin. I'm serious, I find myself slipping my hand inside my jacket occasionally when I find my mark.
Ok, now to the Eurotrash assimilation (by the way, I have no idea how to spell "assimilation" and there's no spell check on this thing so I'm just gonna keep spelling it different ways in hopes that I get it right at least once). They do pretty well here. I mean, it's not embarrassing like some countries. The chicks slut it up just about every chance they get (I know, a real shame) and apparently the style is to have the top of your underwear poke out the top of your EXTREMELY low cut jeans. The guys don't wear tapered leg jeans, which is a real step forward in my book.
Erin and I went shopping yesterday and made out like bandits. I bought a brown fitted striped shirt, low cut jeans and one of those jackets that is a blazer with a hoody under it - VERY eurotrash. I almost bought the uber obnoxious Bono sunglasses but they were too much to be funny. Oh, and everyone here has a faux-hawk damnit! I'm not unique at all!
After that, we spent the day just wandering around town. That's what Prague is good for - wandering. We had Thai food yesterday (it's like Chinese food Matt, good everywhere!) and went back to the hotel for a 2 hr nap with the rationalization that we were gonna burn it down that night at a Prague discothèque. We went back out around 5:30 and had Irish coffee and decided to give the Green Fairy another chance.
We had two absinth shots apiece and let me tell you, the Green Fairy is alive and well. She's a smooth talker at night but a raging bitch in the morning. Turns out she and Mr. Jim Beam didn't get along to well and I'm the one that paid for it. Slept until 11am this mooring after turning it around 10pm. That's right, do the math.
We're gonna see the Church and Castel (both 3 diamonds Matt and Paul) today and hope a night train (first class again) sleeper car to Krakow tonight around 9pm. We'll get to Poland early tomorrow morning.
The only negative thing (other than the other negative things I've already said) about Prague is that it's become VERY touristy. I can't blame the Pragueites...Pragueiens...Pragins, what ever - them. They handle it pretty well. It's not nearly as bad as Toledo in Spain or Monte St. Michelle in France, but the Blue Hairs are everywhere and the Japanese travel in packs armed with their Minoltas and Kodaks. I'm looking forward to being in a less discovered Eastern European city.
More soon.
First of all Prague. Very cool city but as ass-backwards as Venice when it comes to streets and markings. Those that have been, I'm sure understand what I'm talking about. It's a mess. None of the streets last for more than about 100 meters and I think the locals think it's funny to translate random streets on some maps and not on others. I could really use a compass here. No joke, all the buildings are tall and narrow making finding any sort of navigation point (short of the North Star) damn near impossible.
Second, the people. I wouldn't call them overly friendly but their certainly not mean. Kinda like the Germans but better looking. It's kinda like TCU or SMU here, lots of very attractive woman with some shoe faced dumbass. They have no idea how out of their league they would be anywhere else. Oh, and another thing. It's kinda like Logan's Run over here. The woman and tall, blonde or brunette with blue else and legs that go all the way to the top floor. Very stunning...until they get to be about 35. Then I think somebody goes around and dunks their faces in acid. It's really weird. You don't see too many going through the uglifying process, just those before and after. Very strange.
Third, the weather/ambiance. This is spy city, no doubt about it. Rainy and cold. Narrow, dark streets with cubbyholes perfect for one person to slip completely out of sight with a 9mm silenced H&K. Oh, and all the churches play this really haunting music like the stuff from La Boehme. Perfect soundtrack for an assassin. I'm serious, I find myself slipping my hand inside my jacket occasionally when I find my mark.
Ok, now to the Eurotrash assimilation (by the way, I have no idea how to spell "assimilation" and there's no spell check on this thing so I'm just gonna keep spelling it different ways in hopes that I get it right at least once). They do pretty well here. I mean, it's not embarrassing like some countries. The chicks slut it up just about every chance they get (I know, a real shame) and apparently the style is to have the top of your underwear poke out the top of your EXTREMELY low cut jeans. The guys don't wear tapered leg jeans, which is a real step forward in my book.
Erin and I went shopping yesterday and made out like bandits. I bought a brown fitted striped shirt, low cut jeans and one of those jackets that is a blazer with a hoody under it - VERY eurotrash. I almost bought the uber obnoxious Bono sunglasses but they were too much to be funny. Oh, and everyone here has a faux-hawk damnit! I'm not unique at all!
After that, we spent the day just wandering around town. That's what Prague is good for - wandering. We had Thai food yesterday (it's like Chinese food Matt, good everywhere!) and went back to the hotel for a 2 hr nap with the rationalization that we were gonna burn it down that night at a Prague discothèque. We went back out around 5:30 and had Irish coffee and decided to give the Green Fairy another chance.
We had two absinth shots apiece and let me tell you, the Green Fairy is alive and well. She's a smooth talker at night but a raging bitch in the morning. Turns out she and Mr. Jim Beam didn't get along to well and I'm the one that paid for it. Slept until 11am this mooring after turning it around 10pm. That's right, do the math.
We're gonna see the Church and Castel (both 3 diamonds Matt and Paul) today and hope a night train (first class again) sleeper car to Krakow tonight around 9pm. We'll get to Poland early tomorrow morning.
The only negative thing (other than the other negative things I've already said) about Prague is that it's become VERY touristy. I can't blame the Pragueites...Pragueiens...Pragins, what ever - them. They handle it pretty well. It's not nearly as bad as Toledo in Spain or Monte St. Michelle in France, but the Blue Hairs are everywhere and the Japanese travel in packs armed with their Minoltas and Kodaks. I'm looking forward to being in a less discovered Eastern European city.
More soon.
PS I find myself slipping my hand inside my jacket occasionally when I find my "mark".
Sunday, October 1, 2006
1st class - real class
Ohh people. I just discovered the joys of flying first class, trans-Atlantic. Erin hooked us up with the tickets as she works for AA and can make that kind of thing happen. We rode business class to Chicago and first class from Chicago to London. Unfortunately, we had to slum it on coach from London to Prague but that was only a 2hr flight so no big deal. So now that I'm a first class veteran, let me comment on a few things. First of all, the assumption that first class passengers feel, somehow, superior to those in coach or even business is absolutely true. We are. It's time for the rest of you to deal with it. You're gut told you as much every time they pulled that Victorian lace curtain (ok, maybe it's not Victorian lace but it might as well be) across the chasm that divides our 2 worlds. And two worlds they are.
But first, we have to take a moment for the things lost before boarding. We very diligently read that you could take gels and pastes if you put them in a "see-through" plastic bag. We did just that and right before the security line, we very proudly showed a rather slack-jawed security man. He shook his head and said that it had to be a quart size zip lock and we had gallon. Even though they were barely 1/4 full, we were told we had to throw it away. Erin lost an untold amount of make-up and other girly things but the real tragedy here was that I lost my "de-fi" hair product. Faux-hawks don’t style themselves people and now the citizens of Prague will have to live the rest of their lives, knowing that they were witness to a sub par Mitchell Faux-hawk...the horror...
Now, on to the plane ride, a la first class. First of all we board first. Now, you may not appreciate that or fully grasp why that is, I certainly didn't. We board 1st, so that we can have our class of fine Champaign (not that sparkling wine shite they try to pass off else where, I mean the real stuff) before wheels up. If you're a fast drinker, like me, you can even get the second glass down and well on a way to a healthy little buzz before they come and take your crystal class away. My personal air steward was Chaz and aside from over emphasizing his "S's" and leering as I slept, he was a pretty good guy (though I did have to decline his offer for a back rub, but I'm sure he was just being helpful)
Once you're wheels up, they come around and give you your own, personal Bose QC2 headset with the noise canceling technology (retail $300). Then they give you the menu. I chose to start with the cheese course, then moved to the prawns. They were nice but asked if I could have some of the smoked salmon as well and they of course said, "of course".
Then they brought the smoked duck, Cesar salad. Phenomenal. I tried to order the leg of lamb next but since I was in the back, had to settle with truffle tortellini. I chewed each bite glowing with the satisfaction that I did so while the plebs behind me were gnawing on re-constituted chicken. Losers.
After the entrée, I had big bowl of Byers vanilla bean ice cream and Kaluha.
Oh, let's not forget the most important course, the booze course. As I said before, I had the two glasses of fine Champaign before take off but it didn't stop there. I had, in chrono order, sherry, pino griso, pino griso, burgundy, burgundy, brandy, Kahlua. I don't remember going to sleep but I'm sure it happened cause I woke up with a nasty headache. Good thing they've got bloody marrys at breakfast. Oh, and sleeping is a breeze as my chair fully reclined into a bed that was bigger than my dorm room at A&M.
Oh yeah, breakfast. I had a cream cheese and chive omelet. Now, I'm not sure how it's somehow unsafe to have toothpaste on an airplane and it is safe to flip an egg at 30,000ft but I'm glad it is. 10 mins to wheels down, more fine Champaign.
A short time at Heathrow and we're on plane to Prague. Beautiful day. Sunny and 75. Our hotel is amazing. Courtyard, balconies, great restaurant and helpful staff. We had to share a bathroom with about three other rooms but I never saw any of the occupants.
We explored the town and had dinner around 3pm. Goulash is awesome! You've never had beer until you've been to Czech Republic. We were both dead on our feet, not having slept in about 30 hrs but we powered through until about 7pm by people watching in the down square and slowing getting stoned on lack of sleep, coffee and beer. We gave up around seven and headed back to the hotel determined to watch TV and stay awake until at least 8pm. On the way home, we thought it was a brilliant idea to try Absinth for the first time. We bought two mini bottles of two different varieties (one for women and one for the Irish the guy told us), an Absinth spoon, sugar cubes and a lighter. We got home, and I played bartender. We threw them back and both passed out within two mins. We'll try again today.
Speaking of today - rainy and cold, just how I pictured Prague. We're trying to avoid the blue hairs and their massive tour groups but they're nice and seem to like seeing a young couple in Prague.
More soon people and remember, if you're not in first class, you're really a third class citizen.
But first, we have to take a moment for the things lost before boarding. We very diligently read that you could take gels and pastes if you put them in a "see-through" plastic bag. We did just that and right before the security line, we very proudly showed a rather slack-jawed security man. He shook his head and said that it had to be a quart size zip lock and we had gallon. Even though they were barely 1/4 full, we were told we had to throw it away. Erin lost an untold amount of make-up and other girly things but the real tragedy here was that I lost my "de-fi" hair product. Faux-hawks don’t style themselves people and now the citizens of Prague will have to live the rest of their lives, knowing that they were witness to a sub par Mitchell Faux-hawk...the horror...
Now, on to the plane ride, a la first class. First of all we board first. Now, you may not appreciate that or fully grasp why that is, I certainly didn't. We board 1st, so that we can have our class of fine Champaign (not that sparkling wine shite they try to pass off else where, I mean the real stuff) before wheels up. If you're a fast drinker, like me, you can even get the second glass down and well on a way to a healthy little buzz before they come and take your crystal class away. My personal air steward was Chaz and aside from over emphasizing his "S's" and leering as I slept, he was a pretty good guy (though I did have to decline his offer for a back rub, but I'm sure he was just being helpful)
Once you're wheels up, they come around and give you your own, personal Bose QC2 headset with the noise canceling technology (retail $300). Then they give you the menu. I chose to start with the cheese course, then moved to the prawns. They were nice but asked if I could have some of the smoked salmon as well and they of course said, "of course".
Then they brought the smoked duck, Cesar salad. Phenomenal. I tried to order the leg of lamb next but since I was in the back, had to settle with truffle tortellini. I chewed each bite glowing with the satisfaction that I did so while the plebs behind me were gnawing on re-constituted chicken. Losers.
After the entrée, I had big bowl of Byers vanilla bean ice cream and Kaluha.
Oh, let's not forget the most important course, the booze course. As I said before, I had the two glasses of fine Champaign before take off but it didn't stop there. I had, in chrono order, sherry, pino griso, pino griso, burgundy, burgundy, brandy, Kahlua. I don't remember going to sleep but I'm sure it happened cause I woke up with a nasty headache. Good thing they've got bloody marrys at breakfast. Oh, and sleeping is a breeze as my chair fully reclined into a bed that was bigger than my dorm room at A&M.
Oh yeah, breakfast. I had a cream cheese and chive omelet. Now, I'm not sure how it's somehow unsafe to have toothpaste on an airplane and it is safe to flip an egg at 30,000ft but I'm glad it is. 10 mins to wheels down, more fine Champaign.
A short time at Heathrow and we're on plane to Prague. Beautiful day. Sunny and 75. Our hotel is amazing. Courtyard, balconies, great restaurant and helpful staff. We had to share a bathroom with about three other rooms but I never saw any of the occupants.
We explored the town and had dinner around 3pm. Goulash is awesome! You've never had beer until you've been to Czech Republic. We were both dead on our feet, not having slept in about 30 hrs but we powered through until about 7pm by people watching in the down square and slowing getting stoned on lack of sleep, coffee and beer. We gave up around seven and headed back to the hotel determined to watch TV and stay awake until at least 8pm. On the way home, we thought it was a brilliant idea to try Absinth for the first time. We bought two mini bottles of two different varieties (one for women and one for the Irish the guy told us), an Absinth spoon, sugar cubes and a lighter. We got home, and I played bartender. We threw them back and both passed out within two mins. We'll try again today.
Speaking of today - rainy and cold, just how I pictured Prague. We're trying to avoid the blue hairs and their massive tour groups but they're nice and seem to like seeing a young couple in Prague.
More soon people and remember, if you're not in first class, you're really a third class citizen.
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